How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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