Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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