Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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