ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
