I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
