So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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