i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize