You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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