Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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