So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
