So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize