I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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