i dont even know how to be here
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
