dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
