I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
did i just pee glitter
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
