All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
