I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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