FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
