Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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