fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
