Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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