Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
