I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize