I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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