The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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