how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want her autograph on my taint
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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