I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
what day is it and did you see me today?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
