Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize