i just made my gag reflex go away.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
