haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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