I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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