OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
