You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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