To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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