hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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