Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize