Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
