i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
