He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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