I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
