oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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