is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
