We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
