I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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