i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
