So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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