wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
this hospital has no fireball
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
