Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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