We're facebook friends in real life
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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