now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
