I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
