i was born a porn star she said
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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