TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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