Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
