And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
