why didn't you poke me back
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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