walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
