Me too!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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