i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
