I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
