I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
