i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
