At least make sure they are 18
Why
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize