When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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