so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
