well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to make out with him forever
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
