i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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